Impatiently single

I try to stay positive because no one wants to read blog entries that make them feel blue and I’d rather not put any more negativity out there. So let me instead call this a dose of reality: in my experience, waiting for a mate sucks most of the time. Yup, I said it! A human can only be patient for so long before those feelings of unworthiness creep in. I start thinking the reason I don’t have a “plus one” is because I don’t deserve one. Maybe I’m not nice enough, maybe I’m not smart enough, maybe I’m too fat, maybe I’m just plain unattractive! But just when I’ve decided that I’ve finally discovered why I’m single, I’ll meet someone who’s meaner or fatter than I who is happily married to a wonderful man, leaving me back at square one, wondering what is wrong with me. (And of course … Continue reading

On marriage

One of the blogs I regularly visit is CAKIES, and Rubyellen, who runs the blog, shared a beautiful letter for her sister who got married this past weekend (I bolded the parts of the letter that grabbed me the most): Today, you are getting married. Enjoy it. Don’t worry about that extra fluff that makes weddings look pretty. That is what it really is, just fluff. Those things don’t make a marriage. I have seen God’s grace and goodness in your life as I think about where God has brought you. You are here not because of anything you have done, but only because of what God has done. Don’t find your joy in finally being married because if you do, you will be greatly disappointed. Don’t find your joy in Christian, because if you do, you will also be greatly disappointed. Marriage is fun, but it is also hard. … Continue reading

On seeking divine guidance in relationships

Do you remember three months ago when I was supposed to post a letter to my future husband? And then I delayed it? I hope to post the entry soon, but I have to admit I’m not in the same space emotionally as I was when I first started working on my letter. In addition, hearing about what some people are going through in their marriages is making me think even more about what I need from my future marriage, from my future husband, and of course the all-important what I will bring to my future marriage. I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few months about what actually matters in a relationship and what is just nice to have (but is not actually essential). Also on my mind is something my dad has been telling for a long time. He has told me times without number to pray … Continue reading

Dear future husband

I remember the title of this entry being a “trending topic” on twitter sometime. I’ve always been practical about love, so I never had things like “hottie” or “super rich” on my list of things I wanted in a man. My list had things most practical women want in a man: family-oriented, sense of humour, ambitious (but not too much so), employed, educated, taller than I am (um, that is practical, right?), Christian…but I’ve never thought of writing a letter to my future husband, touching on those other qualities I want, or on how I see our ordinary days unfolding. I’d like to write this letter now and I challenge you to do so as well if you’d like. You can write to your future wife if you prefer. The deadline is two weeks from now, on November 4. Who’s in?

On the visible and invisible components of The List

This poor blog has been neglected. The plan is for it to one day be a subsection of my main blog so that visitors to my blog who might be interested in GNG’s thoughts on the single life and (in my case) the journey to find a good Nigerian man, can explore it in one place. I came across Bagucci’s post (does he still call himself that?) about four things he’s looking for in a woman. This post would be The List. He ends his post with a question to the reader inquiring if he’s asking for too much. Most respondents including me said we didn’t think he was asking for too much. However, some felt that he might have to seek this woman halfway across the world (something he was hoping to avoid) and I added that his modest list might actually be longer upon closer inspection. I could … Continue reading